Alone Again
The vacation was wonderful. It was so weird at first, when I saw him, I didn't even recognize him. The fact that he lost nearly 25lbs probably played a huge role, but for the first few hours it was like we had to get re-aquainted, it was so weird. I drove until we got out of the cities then when we stopped at Mc D's to get some food I let him drive the rest of the way. It was hilarious when he started driving he stepped on the gas so hard, then slammed on the brake, I thought we were going to die. He was used to driving the Bradley's instead of a car. It took him awhile to get used to it, so I just gritted my teeth and prayed. We made it home ok.
Vacation was filled with plenty of partying and drinking. We also visited family during Christmas. It was a blast. I was sad to see it end. The day before he left again was really hard. The thought of the departure made us both extremely irritable. We stayed the night in a hotel near the airport that night because his flight left early the next day. The whole night we were at eachother's throats. It wasn't because we didn't love eachother. We were both just sad and pissed that he had to leave again. Plus the thought of going back to Camp Shelby, MS is not a welcoming thought. Camp Shelby is the armpit of America. It compares to a 3rd world country...And I get to visit it in March! Yeah, I am so excited! That was the only day we even said a cross word to eachother. Which was not the case with some of the other wives and thier soldiers. I love my husband...that's all I can say.
Vacation was filled with plenty of partying and drinking. We also visited family during Christmas. It was a blast. I was sad to see it end. The day before he left again was really hard. The thought of the departure made us both extremely irritable. We stayed the night in a hotel near the airport that night because his flight left early the next day. The whole night we were at eachother's throats. It wasn't because we didn't love eachother. We were both just sad and pissed that he had to leave again. Plus the thought of going back to Camp Shelby, MS is not a welcoming thought. Camp Shelby is the armpit of America. It compares to a 3rd world country...And I get to visit it in March! Yeah, I am so excited! That was the only day we even said a cross word to eachother. Which was not the case with some of the other wives and thier soldiers. I love my husband...that's all I can say.
posted by Mandy @ 9:19 AM
2 Comments:
At 9:10 PM,
ngwife said…
This was written the evening after my husbands Departure from Christmas break. Just something to add.
So........yeah.......here we are again, back to square one. Wondering how we are going to get through this. This stinks.
I am an independant person. I do not rely on my husband to lift me up and keep me going. I don't
rely on him to make it all better and put a smile on my face. But
tonight, I need "something". I finally realized that if I were going to get that "something", it would have to come from my inner self. There is alot of things your family and freinds can do, and for that matter, your dogs, but there is one thing that you have to do your self. Lift
your head up. I had to tell myself this a few times today, and I may have to again tomorrow, but it will sink in! It HAS to!
I left the airport this morning and could not bring myself to enter my own home! I sat in my driveway for a bit until I just turned around and drove right back out. Where was I going? Didn't know. What I did know is that I could not open that door and see all of those little messes
left behind. I didn't want to see freshly cut hair shavings around the bathroom sink. And I didn't want to, for the moment, smell the scent of a fresh shower left behind. For once, it wasn't about cleaning up after my husband! These are all things that I have come to miss! I am not telling
you this out of pitty, because I don't want any. I am telling you that you/we are not alone.
Everybody handles things differently. Some may have found the goodbyes a bit less scarring. Some need to push through the instant loneliness and seek that contentment to push through this and begin to move forward once again. I am somewhere in the middle at present. Funny how you think it will be "easy". What the hell does "easy" mean. It doesn't matter how strong of a person you are. When you have to let go of someone you love, it is never easy. In our case, it was not just our husbands, but a company of "brothers" that we have grown to love. That is tough.
We are a bunch of tough cookies. Not every woman can say they can do what the military has asked US to do. We don't sit around and mope about it either.
Army by injection!!! Ha Ha.
At 5:55 AM,
SSG said…
Just for the record I don't drive Bradley's, I jump out the back of them and kill shit. I wasn't used to the acceleration of our truck because I had been driving HMMWV's.
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